[00:00.46]Somewhere on a show I heard
[00:04.62]That a picture tells a thousand words
[00:10.06]So telly, if you bothered to take a look
[00:13.59]Is the equivalent, of like, lots of books!
[00:18.53]All I know I learned from telly
[00:20.78]This big beautiful box of facts
[00:23.19]If you know a thing already
[00:25.30]Baby you can switch the channel over just like that
[00:27.75]Endless joy and endless laughter
[00:29.94]Folks living happily ever after
[00:32.17]All you need to make you wise
[00:34.82]Is 23 minutes plus advertisements
[00:36.82]Why would we waste our energy?
[00:38.74]Turning the pages 1, 2, 3,
[00:40.88]When we can sit comfortably
[00:42.32]On our lovely bumferlies,
[00:43.36]Watching people singing and talking and doing stuff?!
[00:45.70]All I know I learned from telly.
[00:47.64]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
[00:49.70]You can tell from my big telly,
[00:52.07]Just what a clever fella I am!
[00:54.28]Take it away, son.
[00:56.65](guitar noise)
[01:01.74]You can't learn that from a stupid book.
[01:03.39]All I know I learned from telly -
[01:05.56]What to think and what to buy.
[01:07.79]I was pretty smart already,
[01:09.96]But now I'm really, really smart - very very smart.
[01:12.43]Endless content, endless channels
[01:14.37]Endless chat on endless panels
[01:16.93]All you need to fill your muffin
[01:19.03]Without having to really think or nothing!
[01:21.15]Why would we waste our energy
[01:23.21]Trying to work out Ulysses
[01:25.34]When we can sit happily
[01:26.89]On our lovely bapperlies
[01:27.96]Watching slightly famous people
[01:29.21]Talking to really famous people?
[01:30.18]All I know I learned from telly
[01:32.37]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
[01:34.57]You can tell from my big telly
[01:37.15]Just what a clever fella I am!
[01:39.32]
[01:40.40]Who the dickens is Charles Dickens?
[01:42.37]Mary Shelly? Gosh, she sounds smelly
[01:44.79]Harry Potter? What a rotter
[01:46.97]Jane Austen in the compost bin
[01:49.85]James Joyce doesn't sound nice
[01:51.67]Ian McEwen? Ugh, I feel like spewin'
[01:53.82]William Shakespeare? Swilliam Shmakespeare...
[01:56.22]Moby Dick – easy Grandma!
[01:58.06]All together now!
[02:00.50]All I know I learned from telly.
[02:05.62]The bigger the telly, the smarter the man!
[02:11.28]You can tell from my big telly,
[02:16.62]What a very clever fella I am!
[02:32.62]Thank you very much!